So some men say: "the women are all the same, talkative, lazy, selfish, interested in money". Others affirm on the contrary: "women are wonderful, generous, intelligent, attentive, courageous" These two discourses coexist regularly. Who is right ? No one probably! There are all kinds of women, that's obvious. Yet everyone who makes these claims believes it and sees the world from their window.
Where do these judgments come from?
They are rooted in our history. Thus, a young woman said in consultation with her doctor: "My husband makes me completely unjustified reproaches . I had to tell him 'but you blame me for your mother's faults, which are not mine. What you say is not for me! ' And this man thought and realized that it was true! He was hypersensitive to his mother's faults, faults that had made him suffer a lot and hardly scarcely smelled a slight resemblance when he fell on his wife and criticized her sharply.
Watch out for projections
It is a projection . This something which is in you, you apply it artificially to the entourage and then think that it comes from the other. There are other projections even more astonishing and very frequent. Those that make you attribute your own faults to others. Most often, you are blind to these faults, and you think you are the victim. An example: Marie is a psychiatric patient. She has already been arrested on the street by the police and sent to the hospital several times for aggression. She insults people she does not know, she scares them, which means that they call the fire brigade and that she is interned! Well, what does Marie say to her psychiatrist? “Everyone insults me and attacks me in the street. People are mean, they can't stand me ”Of course, Marie is seriously ill, but this phenomenon is found, at least, in each of us! We can judge someone too talkative when it is our main fault, too superficial, too selfish attention these judgments sometimes reveal what we are! So, before criticizing someone, it is good to start by asking yourself: "Isn't this fault that I want to blame first of all in me? Or is it a fault that made me suffer and to which I am hyper sensitive? This allows not to accuse someone unfairly, but to put things in their right place or at least in a fairer place, because it is of course impossible to be completely impartial.